KEEP MOVING

"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving." 

---  Albert Einstein

My last couple of blogs addressed my journey from darkness into light. I want to share that the story isn't over!

My last two blogs covered my journey through darkness and my 9-day stay in the psych hospital. It was a difficult time. My second blog focused on what I planned to do to recover. I went to an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) and Aftercare. Those were very helpful, but something was missing.

I attended a Christian Business Women Connection luncheon and was approached by one of the ladies. She told me about a prayer room she was part of and asked if I would like to come and be prayed for.

I wasn't sure I wanted to participate; a woman had told me in the past about a prayer room in Merced that made her uncomfortable. I was a little scared. I went home and prayed about going to the prayer room, and God said, GO!!

I made an appointment and went sometime toward the end of July.

I entered the room, and four ladies were waiting to pray for me. One of them took the lead and asked me many questions. Afterward, another woman said the first thing I had to do was forgive myself. When I agreed, a woman asked me directly if I wanted to forgive myself. I said yes. They prayed for me, and I repeated parts of the prayer. Afterward, I felt lighter. Then we prayed to break the chains I was allowing to keep me in a bad place. They called that process something other than breaking the chains, but I don’t remember what it was. I was able to forgive my mother, my ex-husband, my son's birth mother, and the man who raped me. I feel free and lighter, even in the face of adversity.

What do I do now?

I am enjoying life. Every morning, I spend time with God. I read my Bible and pray; I used to listen to a news station all day. Now I listen to the news, but I also play a Christian music station for part of the day. I am grateful for church, Bible study, and time with my friends.

Just because things are going well doesn't mean there aren't hard times. I face those hardships with God in the driver’s seat.

I am thrilled to be happy and stable. Will I ever become so depressed again that I consider suicide? I don’t know. If I do, I have a stronger relationship with God, a great support system, and the determination to work through my issues with fewer bad decisions.

I hope you have learned from these last few blogs. I like to share my experiences, both good and bad, in the hope of encouraging others.

Have a great week.