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"You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it." - Maya Angelou.


I have faced much adversity and can say that I have turned that time into strength. I have shared my story before, but I am sharing it again.


Overall, I had a good childhood. It was not without difficulty, but for the most part, it was good.


As a young adult, I struggled. Most of my friends were getting married and having babies, and I had not found "the one" yet. I was 25 when I got married (Looking back, that was young. However, most of my friends got married between 19 and 23). I married into the military, which was a whole new world.


The biggest struggle we faced was infertility. After several years of trying to conceive, we decided to adopt. Three times, we were preparing for a baby, and three times, the birth mother changed her mind. We were thrilled when a young woman contacted us about adopting the child she was carrying. We brought the baby home at 18 hours old. He was not a well-baby, and the doctor diagnosed him with Failure to Thrive. In about a month, he was healthy and happy. At 5 ½ months, the birth mother changed her mind and came back and took the baby. Losing the baby was devastating. I went into a deep depression that lasted 12 years. Nine months after losing the baby, my husband left me because he felt that I was crazy.


I felt like my life was over. I turned to overdosing on sleeping pills and attempting suicide. I am thankful for Celebrate Recovery's program that helped me restore my relationship with God and gave me skills to deal with my issues and not use drugs.


Two years after getting my life together, my mom got sick. I lived and worked in Merced, and she was in Modesto. I was her primary caregiver and attempted to juggle my schedule around both work and being there for her. After a year, her cancer was getting worse. I took MFLA so that I could care for her. All that to say two years of my life was consumed with spending time with mom. She died after her battle with cancer, and I did not know what I was going to do with myself.


After my mom died, I moved to Fresno to take over the family business. After six years, my brother and I closed the store. I felt like a failure. That store was my grandfather's legacy. He would not have kept the store open as long as we did due to financial issues.


When I first moved to Fresno, I was unhappy because, once again, my life drastically changed.


As you read this, you might think this girl has gone through a lot, and I have. I have learned that each one of those circumstances helped me grow as a person.


After losing the baby and getting my life together, I have a testimony and share different churches share my pain and my road to healing. I am fortunate enough to have a second family. My best friend's grandchildren are the light of my world. I have been a part of their lives since birth. Now they are 22,19 and 14. I am lucky and happy.


I grieved my mother's death. I had already lost my father, so now I felt like an orphan. Through my grief, I found myself.


My move to Fresno was tough for me. I did not want to leave Merced and move to Fresno. I have lived here for 12 years and love it here. I am happier in Fresno than I have been anywhere else. I have good friends and a strong church, and I am involved in the community.


Through a lot of hard work, I found myself. I am living my best life. My life has problems, but I can handle them more healthily.


Overcoming adversity can be a challenging but rewarding process. Here are some steps to help you navigate and conquer adversity:


1.     Accept the Situation: Acknowledge that you are facing adversity. Denial can make it harder to address the issue.

2.     Stay Calm: Try to remain composed and avoid making impulsive decisions. A clear mind is essential for effective problem-solving.

3.     Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or a support network. Sharing your concerns and seeking advice can provide emotional relief and new perspectives.

4.     Set Realistic Goals: Break down the problem into smaller, manageable steps. Setting achievable goals helps you make progress and maintain motivation.

5.     Adaptability: Be flexible and open to change. Sometimes, you may need to adjust your plans or expectations as you navigate through adversity.

6.     Problem-Solving: Analyze the situation objectively and brainstorm potential solutions. Seek input from others if necessary. Take action based on your analysis.

7.     Self-Care: Prioritize your physical and mental well-being. Proper nutrition, exercise, and sleep can help you stay resilient.

8.     Positive Mindset: Cultivate a positive attitude and practice gratitude. Focus on what you can control and work towards a more optimistic outlook.

9.     Learn from Adversity: View adversity as an opportunity for personal growth and learning. Reflect on what you've gained from the experience.

10.  Persistence: Don't give up easily. Adversity often involves setbacks, but persistence can lead to eventual success.

11.  Seek Professional Help: If you're struggling to cope with a particularly challenging situation or facing mental health issues, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor.

12.  Stay Patient: Overcoming adversity can take time. Be patient with yourself and the process.

13.  Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements along the way. Recognizing your progress can boost your morale.

14.  Maintain Perspective: Remember that adversity is a part of life and does not define your entire existence. Keep your long-term goals and values in mind.

15.  Learn from Others: Seek inspiration from individuals who have overcome similar challenges. Their experiences can provide valuable insights and motivation.


Remember that everyone's journey through adversity is unique, and these steps may need to be adapted to fit your specific circumstances. The key is to stay resilient, adaptable, and focused on moving forward.


Be strong and have a great week!

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Thanks for sharing and offering great advise. Take care my friend. You're in the "Potter's" hands.

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