“Loved you yesterday, love you still, always have, always will.” – Tim Walters
Love is in the air! During this time of year, young love is often the season's focus. I am fascinated with the love that has proved itself throughout time.
My parents deeply loved each other. They were married in 1960, and the world was much different then. They were committed to each other and did not have a life outside of each other. (I don’t necessarily think that is a good thing.) My dad worked, and my mom stayed home and cared for the children and the house. She was happy. (I know this because when she was dying, she talked about her life and said it was a joy to care for everyone. Today we would call that behavior codependent!) As I got older, I enjoyed watching them look at each other with love in their eyes. My dad would sing “I Love You Truly” to my mom in front of us kids. He sang off-key, on purpose, and my brother and I would laugh. My mom would walk by him and kiss him on the cheek. As I grew older, my favorite thing was to watch them walk hand in hand down the street.
My parents were not without problems. Like every family, we had times when money was short. My mom knew how to budget and ensure the family’s needs were met. My dad and mom would discuss what items were essential and what wasn’t. My dad wanted to attend law school, and my mom worked as a Fuller Brush salesperson to help finance his dream. In those days, it was door-to-door sales, most of which were cold calls. Being a salesperson was difficult for my mom; she was timid and uncomfortable around people. She did this because she loved my dad and wanted the best for him. She eventually got a job as a Nurse’s Aide (Today, they are certified and are known as CNAs). She moved up the ladder and became a receptionist in the oncology department. She did all this because she loved her family and wanted the best for us.
My dad would do anything for my mom. He provided for our family and made it possible for her to stay home when my brother and I were young. He did not forget her birthday or their anniversary. He often got her a card for those special days and sometimes a fantastic gift. He always ensured that we did what she wanted on those days.
My parents shared almost everything. When we were disciplined, they were on the same page. They learned to compromise so both could have some satisfaction. When they both came home from work, they would spend time talking about their day!
Their marriage only lasted 30 years because my dad died in 1991 (before their 31st anniversary). My mom was never the same after his death. She continued to honor him throughout her life. She died 20 years later, in 2011. They left a legacy for their children and the lives they touched.
I am thankful for the example I had and the security that I had, knowing that the word divorce was never brought up in my home.
I was fortunate, and I am grateful.
I am not my mom, and my marriage was very different; however, I am divorced! I don’t know if I will marry again because I am very independent. However, I appreciate my parents and the atmosphere they raised me in.
Have a great day!