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GETTING TO KNOW ONESELF!!

christylnott1

Maya Angelou: "We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty." 


How well do you know yourself?


After years of journaling and therapy, I have come to know myself. That doesn't mean I am not surprised by some things I do and say. Many people search for who they are for their entire lives. I have struggled with many things in life and spent years lamenting over what has happened to me. However, I found that all the hardships in my life have made me who I am today.


I faced much turmoil as I was maturing. I was bullied in school, I was taller than most of my peers and extremely awkward, I lost my son to a failed adoption attempt, and the list goes on. I spent years crying, feeling bad about myself, and participating in self-abusive behaviors.


Life was hard. I did not feel like I fit in many circumstances. I was lonely and tried too hard to make friends. Because I was trying so hard, I became someone I was not. I wanted people to like me, so I tried to enjoy what they liked and do what they wanted. I wanted to be seen by others for who I was, and how could they? I was being who I was not.


In my adult years, and I lost my son, I didn't care what others thought of me, and I started to care only about myself. I started abusing myself. I was overdosing on over-the-counter drugs and attempted to commit suicide. I was very sad and selfish. I learned much about myself in that situation; I didn’t like how I reacted. Eventually, I got the help I needed and moved on in life.


Now that I am in my sixties, I have learned that those experiences have molded me into who I am today. I am a well-rounded, happy person who can be there for others when they are experiencing difficult times. In many cases, I can relate to and encourage those who talk to me. I believe those difficult times formed me into the person I am today.


All the good things do not mean I don’t struggle today. I have learned healthier ways to deal with my hurts and heartaches.


I encourage you to look at your life and see where you came from and what is in store for you today. I believe that God never wastes a hurt, and everything we go through can make us better people if we allow it.


Getting to know yourself better is a valuable and ongoing process. Here are some steps to help you on this journey:

1.     Self-Reflection:

  • Spend time alone and reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

  • Ask yourself questions about your desires, fears, and motivations.

2.     Journaling:

  • Write regularly about your experiences, thoughts, and emotions.

  • Some journals use prompts to help you explore different aspects of your identity and life.

3.     Mindfulness and Meditation:

  • Practice mindfulness to stay present and aware of your inner experiences.

  • Meditate regularly to connect with your inner self and observe your mind without judgment. (Meditation takes on many different faces. My meditation includes prayer and enjoying being quiet with myself.)

4.     Seek Feedback:

  • Ask trusted friends, family, or mentors for honest feedback about your strengths and areas for growth.

  • Be open to constructive criticism and different perspectives.

5.     Explore Your Interests and Passions:

  • Engage in activities that excite and fulfill you.

  • Pay attention to what brings you joy and satisfaction.

6.     Assess Your Values and Beliefs:

  • Identify what is most important to you and what principles guide your decisions.

  • Reflect on how your values align with your actions and life choices.

7.     Set Goals and Track Progress:

  • Define personal goals that are meaningful to you.

  • Regularly review your progress and adjust your goals as needed.

8.     Learn from Experiences:

  • Reflect on past experiences and what you’ve learned from them.

  • Consider how these lessons shape your current and future actions.

9.     Practice Self-Compassion:

  • Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially during challenging times.

  • Acknowledge your imperfections and accept yourself as you are.

10.  Seek Professional Help if Needed:

  • Consider therapy or counseling to explore deeper aspects of your identity and mental health.

  • A professional can provide guidance and tools for self-discovery.

11.  Read and Learn:

  • Read books, articles, and other resources on self-improvement and personal development. (I have read many self-help books but have found learning how to live my life came from reading the Bible.)

  • Learn from others' experiences and insights.

12.  Challenge Yourself:

  • Step out of your comfort zone and try new things.

  • Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and self-discovery.


Remember, getting to know yourself is an ongoing process that evolves. Be patient and persistent, and allow yourself to grow and change.


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